I’d like to rant just a little. Most times rants are just crustiness aired. Sometimes they are hurts. I guess this one is a hurt over a sensitive topic.
Mom moved along to Goodness, and our family shared in a very honoring service for her. One day after her passing spouse-man told my oldest stepdaughter that it would be good for her to call me or send me a card or something – he was doing his best to give parental guidance. That lodged in the back of my mind, because after all, we all want to know that Everyone on the planet loves us and is there for us and cares about our life. I subconsciously noted time passing not hearing from my oldest stepdaughter. I admit, alright?, it made me a bit bitter knowing that she had told The Mother’s household about it before we had a chance to tell my younger stepdaughter. Once in a while I wander into the Why question, but this time I was a bit burdened by other things.
Three weeks after it all my oldest stepdaughter shows up with a fabulous card and a really cool ceramic thing with plants in it, with hugs and appropriate mood. No, no griping now, in fact I internally ate crow for admonishing her for her lack of manners.
And goll darn it if then my youngest doesn’t comes home and I showed it to her and she said she’d already seen it. My mind clicks in – okay, maybe a bit oversensitive presently – maybe not - and I realized this gift presented to me has visited The Mother’s house first. I don’t get it; the oldest no longer lives at home, drives herself all over tarnation and has what it takes to find these things for me, but they need to go inside to The Mother’s house first? Can anything just pertain to spouse-man and/or me? Does it all have to go through The Mother filter first? Can I just have a bubble around my mother’s passing without even that getting tainted by The Mother?
This is when I pray to myself to help let go of this nastiness … Lord, I know you see all of this and will set it all straight one day in everyone’s heart.