My Jeep had a little rumble with another auto in an alley last week. The Jeep, being a bit scrappy in the first place, took an unfavorable attitude to the other vehicle that was illegally parked in said alley. We, the owners and drivers, were on a mission to pick up a (free) shelf from the loading dock bequeathed to us by my employer. As I turned the corner into the alley at my prearranged, and reserved I might add, time - I came nose to tail to a four wheeled animal, akin to a mangy dog with one eye, missing patches of fur and notches in its ear. What that looks like in jalopy terms is something that looked like it just came in from a couple laps around a demolition derby.
However, I had no personal attitude toward the mange-mobile, as neither did the spouse-man just down the alley who thought I had all the space I needed to squeeze by. Turns out I didn’t. My side mirror merely touched the rear window of this creature and spidered the whole piece. I might add that this window, being the rearest of them all, was immediately next to a missing one that was currently replaced with cardboard and duct tape.
Here’s where I lost a little bit of my temper, slammed my driver side door and said something out loud to the spouse-man about driving it himself, in front of curious passers by at the mouth of this alley, including a coworker or two. It was a tiny moment of discomposure. But that was it, really. Except for the rather tart things I let loose to the owner of the mange-mobile when she returned coincidentally moments later to her pet…completely immersing herself into a fit of Drama Queen. I, on the other hand, took on a rather humorous and serene attitude. Yes, I was at fault. Yes, I could stay calm, and yes, I was not going to be afraid of someone else’s anger.
We offered to exchange info, and wholeheartedly told her we’d pay for her, uh, window. She would have none of that; she was interested in taking it a bit further – "I am not moving until the police see this!", and other fragments of drama including words like "what they did" and "smashed into" on this rather exposed bit of downtown rush hour sidewalk. Spouse-man even took his turn at a rather unsubtle, yet calm "Shut Up." while she took her drama into his personal space. DQ was even warned by passers by that she would get a ticket for being illegally parked, but she remained steadfast in her bubble of drama and anger.
Not one, not two, but 3 motorcycle cops pulled up. I could almost see them rolling their eyes behind their aviator glasses under their helmets at having to address this scene during rush hour, downtown. We did, in fact, exchange appropriate info now under their authority. She did, in fact, receive a ticket for being illegally parked. But, alas, since my trusty Jeep was indeed in motion, I received a moving violation for "unsafe backing". Personally I think they made that up.
She drama-ed on a bit more about having the right to park in the alley – believe it or not. She moved on…so that we could move on down the alley and load our shelves. We drove back out to the street, and found yes, unbelievable as it may seem for a woman such as DQ in her mange-mobile with all her anger and creased foreheads, that she was yet again parked illegally 2 blocks further down the street. Where’s the cops when you need them.
