Scratchity and Bumpity in the Night

It’s 3 a.m. straight up and something large just woke me up. Not nightmares, nightsweats or King Kong. My first inclination is to blame the spouse-man for making noises elsewheres in the house. It’s typical to have to deal with a pilot light, but does that apply to an air conditioner? I ask myself at that hour. Is he tripping over cat boxes in the utility room to get to the HVAC implements? I stumbled up as the marbles begin to settle into the slots. Fireworks across the county firing rapidly in succession? Spouse-man arrives from elsewheres in the house as he is also trying to discover the source of the sounds. Is something or someone scrambling on the roof? I find myself afraid to breach the protective skin of the walls to stick my head outside the door. It appears to be in the attic above the living room, but uncertain we take the flashlight outside to have a gander. Nope. Back inside, must be the attic, but now in a different place. It is moving. Now I hear something above the bathroom. You know when your big dog comes inside on a hot day and his little canine elbow hits the floor first, then the thunk of his body when he collapses on your floor? It’s this kind of Ker-Thunk I hear above my bathroom at approximately 3:29a.m. What was that?

Spouse-man is still outside with the flashlight so I join him with the update. We continue to search for breaches in the eaves or roof. Then we check the garage. Aha! Something has been here! The ginormous bag of dogfood has been menaced, and the workbench and shelves next to it have been ransacked. Too clumsy for a cat, too small for a rat…..raccoon? We carry the bags of dogfood and catfood inside to store elsewhere for the time being and he mentions he cleaned up the same kind of dogfood mess "yesterday morning". Well that would be handy to know. Sometimes we leave the garage car door up about 4 inches to try to deter the potential heat bomb from going off inside on hot days, and he did that the night before, but we’d been in and out of the garage all day….hmmm. Raccoons don’t wander around in the daylight so he was either already in the garage, but keeping a low profile, or in the attic.

Another marble dropped in at this early hour and I asked if the D-Con from 4 years ago was still in the attic from the influx of mice we dealt with one spring….yes, 2 boxes of who-knows-how-full boxes remain. Hmmm, again, not enough to kill a ‘coon. At this point my heartstrings are feeling the soft breeze of the fondness I have for critters. A helpless, yet uninvited, raccoon with sweet bandit face and nimble hands trapped in my attic? The apparent raccoon, while trapped is now quiet. We get another bright idea, besides the one about moving the food and carrying a flashlight the size of a club, and sprinkle lavender scented baby powder outside the regular garage door, leave it ajar, and go back to bed.

This a.m. – sure enough! – little raccoon feets were in the powder. However, it appeared to have taken about 2 steps in, then back out with the trail heading away about 4 feet till the powder dissipated. Unconclusive. Did the attic dweller get out, step on the powder, start back in, then escape? Or did Raccoon #2 venture to the garage looking for a handout, hate the lavender, and head back to the trees?

3 hours later, we tossed around the idea that the skritchity, bumbling around was the last ditch effort of this poor critter to get out, and the Ker-thunk was the actual expiring of this little guy. My heartstrings are nearly getting yanked out of their little sockets. After some conversations with coworkers we decide that the D-Con wasn’t enough to do it in, especially after a fully belly of dogfood. Yet, there is the Ker-Thunk to think about. The common conclusion is that after a day in the attic on a 90 degree day, we may have a different issue on our hands having to do with the olfactory senses. I elected spouse-man to go in; I ain’t popping my head up in the attic like a prairie dog should a deranged, heat-stroked, D-Con tainted, hungry-thirsty, half-dead, or all-dead raccoon come at me like something out of a late night Creature Feature – heartstrings or not. His response? Thanks. Fine. I ain’t going in either. We tossed around the idea of a bicycle helmet and goggles, gloves and trash bag, Motorcycle helmet with face mask, Welding helmet. He finally said I’m callin’ somebody.

Stay tuned, this story isn’t done yet. What’s in your attic?

Comments

[Stephanie]

I don't know what's in my attic, but I'm hoping there's NOTHING in there. I hate that feeling of sitting straight up in bed, heart pounding, adrenaline rushing, before my brain is even engaged. Yuck! And then to spend the day wondering if the poor thing has expired up there... serious bummer! I hope all is well and you have "somebody" who knows what they're doing when they get there! I'm waiting to hear the rest of the story.

[Joel Frederick]

Freaky night! We had squirrels and had them trapped. It is not fun to hear the noises.

Be careful, 'coons can fight pretty hard and do damage!