Playing Pool with Geese

My spouse and I were tapping into a financial conversation recently. Often, of course, it is tied into the topic of child support, debt and future planning. As is more often the case – no, rather nearly every time, in fact I can’t recall when it wasn’t the case – I projected into the conversation what money antic The Mother may pull in the future like what she has pulled in the past. He started into a story seemingly unrelated to the topic. My whiskers moved forward and my ears went up - he doesn’t talk much so this might be something worth listening too….

While in the Navy, many moons ago, he was invited to go play pool with a fellow sailor. This individual, in whatever guy/sailor way, said he got to play with the Two Goose Advantage. Huh? I said to myself. Without all the sailor talk and flamboyancy, it means that when my guy bent over to shoot the first shot, he got the goose with a pool stick; goose #1 from the sailor dude. Of course this messed up my guy’s shot with the stand-up-straight-pool-stick-jerk thing, got him all kinds of nervous, and conditioned him to look over his shoulder for goose #2. Goose #2 never came, but he was watching for it. Sailor dude got the satisfaction of the first goose, stood back laughing as the goosed-guy played all kinds of uptight-like pool, putting all kinds of energy into watching out for the potential #2 goose. The Lesson? Just play the game and quit putting energy into the second goose.

His point with regard to The Mother, our lives and our finances, is that we can keep looking for the #2 Goose; her threat of legal action, her demands, her manipulation, and whatever else she does – or what we expect she will do - while she stands back laughing and gets the satisfaction….or we can move ahead and live our lives – play our game.

In my role as stepmom, female head of my household (well, I try) and spouse to a man with children this has been my biggest burden: trying to live our own lives while she holds tight to that stirring stick in the big poison cauldron of non-amiable divorce, split families, child support, schedules, activities, and eye of newt. Yep, sometimes the second, third and thirteenth goose comes. Sometimes, they are back to back, sometimes there is a nice long reprieve between – the quiet times. So I am pondering, who else is holding a pool stick behind me, and in what way is it affecting my life? Who is holding a pool stick behind you?

Comments

[Stephanie]

What a great illustration. Tell John thanks for the story.