....SHUT EYE!
I visited a website called shuteye.com where I learned that my current state of insomnia is chronic. Not transient. Not temporary. Not even tameable. I started keeping a chart, more for my girl-doc's records rather than for my own entertainment. This is NOT entertainment. It causes me to want to hit somebody - whether by fist or bumper. It causes me to walk around looking dumb. It causes me to want to really, really want go off on a rant about The Mother who insists on wearing stretchy, clingy, cleavage showing outfits on a not-even-close-to trim physique to high school choir concerts. It almost causes me to want to walk right over and ask her directly if she thinks she looks hot for all the teenagers lurking around....nooooo....don't go there!! - but I don't have the energy. The nerve, but not the energy.
Yep, tried the natural stuff. Yep, tried the OTC stuff. Yep, tried the pharmaceutical stuff. More exercise you say? If I am bumping into walls and hitting doorjams (let me show you the bruise on my shoulder!), how can I climb on a bike? Swim? I'll sink due to lack of muscle coordination.
Meditation? Deep breathing? BTDT. Prayer...okay, that's a good one. I have determined after extensive research - but I'll check my shortterm memory losses - that sleep prayers appear to not be God's bailiwick. Oh yes, another ouch! Dear Lord, I just simply ask for a restful night's sleep. 3.5 hours later I wonder if He heard me. Night after night.
So, I sit here beyond punchy, wondering if any of my coworkers will notice my lack of enthusiasm, wondering how many people are wondering why I didn't return a phone call or email, or even why I didn't so much as give them a glance in the hallway, wondering which week it is and getting reminded that this week will be June already. I think I slept well once back in March. But I can't remember.