I got Offended last week.
Getting offended is for weenies. It is for people who are looking for trouble. It is for those who don't take responsibility for their lives. But the word seemed to fit my state of mind. Yet, while maybe I am a weenie, I am not looking for trouble and I believe I take a whole bunch of responsibility for my life. So, what it really comes down to is that I got Hurt last week. And it was hard to acknowledge that I got hurt - felt hurt. Why is that hard to acknowledge?... I ask myself. Acknowledging the feeling - owning it - means that now I need to tap into my heart; that place that takes in all the dings, punches, burdens and hurts that life tosses my way, bundles them up into one big glob of beating, oppressed emotion that eventually constructs a fortress even Goliath couldn't tumble.
Owning it also means I need to think about forgiving. There's that word again. The word that is permeating it's way into my life whether I like it or not - a book loaned to me, a verse I read, a sermon I hear, a comment from a friend, a directive from a mentor ... a mandate from God. This word that can set me free, give me peace, and grow me up. Yet the action eludes me. I am learning it is not the whisk broom/rug method that I've practiced up to now, and it is not the smile/let's do lunch method that I despise in Cake and Ice Cream Christians who's lives seem too happy for their own good. I am learning that some people come predisposed with the forgiveness gene; they just do it and move on. I am not one of those.
I am writing to tell you that I have not figured it out. However, I got out the roadmap, penciled in a route, found a copilot to help with the trip and have taken the on-ramp to the highway. Call it a New Year's Resolution....for the next 40 or so.
Matthew 6:14-15:
For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins. (NIV)
Thanks for sharing this Donna!
Posted by: Joel Frederick | Jan 20, 2007 at 01:30 PM
what kind of hoo-doo voo-doo are you selling here cracker lady...
i live to offend
Posted by: optionalg | Jan 20, 2007 at 07:21 PM
A wise person once reminded me that the only one who can forgive and forget is Jesus - the canvas is clean after Jesus forgives. We can forgive and then have to release it to God to help us as we move on. It moves from being a big motion picture in our lives to eventually a snippet of a snapshot photo that can still creep back into our memory but fades over time....
Posted by: cakboliv | Jan 25, 2007 at 02:57 PM