Gift Ideas dot 2

I first posted about this in Gift Ideas for Teens - and that was a driveby.  I had only glanced at this "item" that my step-daughter brought over after Christmas.   I have now had a chance to take a closer look.

This product is made by Urban Decay (if you feel you can't resist checking out their website and this product, and need more information than the name represents).   This is a flavored body powder, with a paragraph informing the marketing target (or in this case - a child) that the "cocktails are flowing" and it will get "any evening off to a good start" with further instructions on use and intent. 

Here's my dilemma.  I am a stepmom (oh, really, now, Who do you think You are, then?).   Whether this product was given by The Mother or someone else, The Mother okayed it in some fashion.   If I dis-okay it because of moral issues, am I putting doubt in this child's mind with her trust with her mom's decisions?   Is it a moral issue?   Does her trust in her mom overrule moral teaching by someone else - me - who is in a precarious position already?

This is not the first item, nor will it be the last she is exposed to  - got that.   In our house we make attempts to talk about related issues that we experience while she is with us.   Is it a don't touch issue when she is not with us even though it spills over into our house?   Am I over thinking this little item that has made it's way into my 13 year old step-daughter's repertoire?   I strongly suspect that if we pull out the moral card on an item - such as this - that comes to our house, that our house will be made an example when she returns to her mother's rather than the issue itself.

I still, often, remain hopeless.

Comments

[marie]

maybe you could ask the child what she thinks of it. then you can relate what you think about it without passing judgement on her or her mother. there will be a million more things that pop up. the young lady will know where you stand as time goes on and you will have to choose the hills you want to die on. your hope will lay in the fact that you get to share with her your thoughts and feelings, not whether she agrees with them. praying for you.

[Stephanie]

Hmmm... It is a dilemma. I have found in similar situations (Abercrombie and Fitch clothing, for example) that I just explain why Dad and I don't support that particular thing. Use at Mom's is really up to Mom, but in our home, we don't support it. Mom might have something to say, might make an example of your home, but in the long run I think "the girl" will think more of you for standing on your convictions.