Age is Just a Number

Cigarette Butts and Communion Cups

   


What do those two things have in common?   They are both found on the ground outside the church doors.   Yes, no kidding.   Okay, so you aren't surprised about the cigarette butts.   But Communion Cups?   Not one errant cup, but several in different places.   What are these people thinking?

And how do I know this you ask?   One of the fun ways I "get" to serve is to mow.   Part of that job includes several things besides mowing; like pulling giant weeds, using the weedwacker/trimmer .... and yes, picking up trash.   With the wind, the usual stuff blows in - to be expected.   With the construction, the usual flotsam and jetsam happens - an occasional nail, screw or piece of duct tape.   Today I even found two pearls!  Okay, so they weren't real, but rather two pins from a corsage pushed into the ground.

However, I am Always disappointed by the cigarette butts.  I don't understand the practice of littering.   ( I also don't understand the practice of smoking, but I'll refrain from that bunny trail)  It is quite offensive to me.   Once, while living in the Dallas/Ft. Worth area, I was sitting behind a truck with what looked like a father and son inside - kid was about 6 or 8.   While waiting for the light, a MacDonald's bag and cup came flying out of the driver's side window.   Moments later the same was thrust from the passenger side.   I was stunned.   I did more than a little head jerk and eye brow raise.   I couln't comprehend what I had just witnessed.   The light turned green and the rush of traffic continued.

Back to Butts in the Landscaping Rock.   So what gives?   While pushing the mower around I came up with a Smoker's Catheter/Bag idea.   It would be sort of semi-permanently affixed to the smoker so they could conveniently stash their own butts, such that at the end of the day they could empty all their butts into their own trash can - lest they carry their own butts around extensively...and smell bad, or worse than they already do.

But, what Really gives with the Communion Cups?   I am Ultimately disappointed with that.   I can't even come up with something funny that folks may be thinking (Could use help here).   It reminds me of another story I heard where an individual was disgusted with the people who were so happy to see you in church, and then would flip you off and cut you off in the parking lot on their rush to get out of there.

I am having great difficulty in understanding why I see Communion Cups tossed to the ground as their owners are departing from church.

Misunderstood.2

On a more serious note ... While trying not to invest too much time in wondering what in the world would be "not Rude" to The Mother (see yesterday's post), I do wonder what my Christian obligation is to a person such as herself - one who can be a cheerleader to your face while twisting the screw driver on your backside.

This verse has saved me more than just a few times, in more than just a few ways:

Matthew 7:6 
"Do not give dogs what is sacred; do not throw your pearls to pigs.  If you do, they may trample them under their feet, and then turn and tear you to pieces.

Mom's shortened reminder was "don't cast pearls to swine" and it took me a long time and a lot of lessons to get it ... at the age of 13, "what's this swine stuff, anyway??".

As much as I would like to use my default MO that goes something like this: 
Generally folks mean well and let them be innocent before proven guilty .... It's just not Real that much anymore. 

So, a faithful and smart friend reminded of, and continually teaches me this:

Ephesians 6 (all of vs. 10-18)
.... put on the full armor of God ... ¹⁴Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place...

This decade seems to be my Battle Years.

I Am Misunderstood

I am Intolerant.

in‧tol‧er‧ant  [in-tol-er-uhnt] –adjective

1.	not tolerating or respecting beliefs, opinions, usages, manners, etc., different from one's own, as in political or religious matters; bigoted.

Today, while talking to a woman coworker - she actually lived in my house while we travelled last year, so I know her a bit other than at work - had a mascara encased eyelash stuck on her cheek.   So I did the motion with my finger to indicate that she mirror me and brush the particle off her face.   I would appreciate that, if I had things stuck to my face, a trusted individual would let me know in a kind way before I was introduced to say, George Clooney.   But we were at work, I thought she'd appreciate my gesture.   Instead what I got was "why don't you just let it go and take the opportunity to practice Tolerance".   Ouch.   I think my little head jerk was inperceptible, but now I can't wait till she has a glob of food or a big booger hanging around - Ya, I'll be Tolerant!

I am Rude.

rude  /rud/  – adjective,  rud‧er, rud‧est.

1.	discourteous or impolite, esp. in a deliberate way: a rude reply. (Yep, that's me!)

Last week, while parked in front of The Mother's residence waiting for Tori, the matriarch came out to hand me orthodontic information in a color glossy folder and told me more than I wanted to know about crooked teeth and the price it takes to fix them.   I have not actually said words to this woman in years (I'll refrain from reasons why, but it has to do with what moms all over the world teach their children...."if you can't say something nice....."), so I was busy sitting there getting "educated" until the matter of insurance(s) came up.   ~  John, as a nicety, carries dental insurance that picks up the tab where her mandatory coverage leaves off.  ~  So I spoke up.   I said "Well, it's a good thing that John does that."   She prattled on happily and eventually walked away.    Today I learned that I was rude to her.   Next time I think I'll jump out of the car and bow to the East before her ankles.

Nobody understands me.   I think I'll go eat worms (Mom taught me that one too).

Izzi Graduates!

This evening Izzi graduated from her "How to be a Puppy 101" class with tail high and horns trumpeting!    Isn't she a doll?

                                       

Out Where?

No one has been able to answer me this yet.   Occasionally I send an email and get an Automated response bounced back to me that says something like this:

Out of Office AutoReply:   Let's Do Lunch

Does this mean that they will eventually get my email when they return?, or that this is a sort of SCUD Missile Repellent and all Incoming gets repelled - bounced back?   Will they ever see it upon their return because maybe it goes into a folder specially marked "AutoReply DimWits to Answer"?

When I get one of these there is that subtle little jerk back of the head like I just got an unfriendly slap in the nose.   How dare you attempt to send me an email; I am so important that a computer automatically responses letting the world know that I am some place more important other than at my desk with my hand on the mouse breathlessly awaiting your email.

Do I park this email in a special folder named "Remember to check if So and So is Back IN the office to see if we can do Lunch" folder?   How will I know that this In-Duh-Vidual eventually gets the message?   What if it is something important like "Your 401K expires tomorrow and you forfeit all investments if you do not respond immediately"?   Gosh, did that get Repelled back to HR?   Did they do the little head jerk?

Too many questions and clearly I still don't know the answer to this dilemma.

Learning Curve

So I've been learning some stuff lately and it isn't without pain (or Pride?).   

  My first lesson of late was in last week's message delivered by Scott, where I had the opportunity to hear it 3 times since it was my weekend to serve.   In the middle of the message Scott revealed to us some of his dating experiences in winning the love of his life.   I thought "I want that kind of attitude in my married life".   In fact, I was so pulled by it that I tried to persuade John to attend just any sermon so he could "hear it, learn it, know it and act on it".   By the third sermon, though, after notable pain and discomfort, my first lesson came to light:   God will speak to John in the way that is only unique to John's ears, not by how or what I think he needs to hear.

  On to lesson number two.   I found a new blog, via another that I read, written by a clever and witty mom.   She claims to find perfect people boring and writes about her everyday world with kids.   She is even blessed enough to have a housecleaner (pardon if everyone but me has one and that this may be a perfectly normal thing - this is one of my markers that  "I've finally made it; I don't have to swish a toilet ever again."  By the way, I haven't "made it" yet - whether or not this is even a valid marker.).   Her entire family is beautiful and skinny.   She is funny and doesn't appear to have a depressed or glum bone in her body.   I found myself saying to myself, "I want that".   But that isn't the life that has been assigned to me!   Lesson number two becomes illuminated:  God has given me this life to fulfill with His purposes, whether I know what they are or not.   Comparing myself or life to others is futile and foolish (thus depressed, glum bones).

  Lesson No. 3.   This week we were left with a pile of poo from The Mother in the form of a $400 balance on a bill.   Today, John explained to me an item that he wants to buy for Tori.  I was getting overwhelmed by dollar signs flying past my head the speed, attitude, altitude and intensity of bullets.   I went a tad bit ballistic, waved my arms and I think the decibel level increased a bit and the house started spinning.   "Will people quit demanding money from me and my checking account???"  Lesson No. Tres/Zwei/Trois/Twee/III/Tva starts shining as the day progresses:   I am not in control even though I think I should be... John's girls were his family prior to my appearance... None of this is Mine anyway...and why didn't I ask God for wisdom while the house was spinning, anyway?

May my IQ and all the other Q's be a point or two higher next week.

Happy Hour

Since both John and I work downtown, we attempt to carpool when it's convenient - plus it's faster in the carpool lane.   We have a muriad of ways that we connect;  sometimes he meets me at the parking garage, or I do a drive-by on his block and he loads up in about 4.5 seconds.   And with his class schedule, most often I drive home by myself or take the bus.   Today, he got out of class and was ready to go when I was.   As I exited the garage he came running down the sidewalk as I was temporarily parked illegally on the street, AKA Double Parking, or perfectly legal in NYC.   He said he had a surprise for me.
 

He hops in the car and breaks open a fresh bag of warm tortilla chips and a carton of salsa from Chili's!   We both agreed how bad it was and dug in, me driving.   So there I was toolin' down the carpool lane eating chips and salsa.   

We squeezed in our own little Happy Hour! 

Working Stiff

The other day as I was crammed like a sardine on the bus into downtown, I watched a young woman navigate a stroller onto the bus.   She appeared to be single so I wondered what her life is like, and what the child's life will be like.   Many assumptions.   She whipped out her Razr and proceeded to chat the whole ride.   I was wearing my sunglasses so I was covertly checking others out too...okay, I do that a lot....wondering what other people are like and their lives, families, jobs, etc.   I was also partially hidden behind my Sudoku book mostly working on a puzzle.   I am pretty sure I am the only person who does this.

We got into downtown and the second half of my commute is the Shuttle on the Mall.   Two older gentlemen got on, probably each around 70, wearing what looked like office attire.   They chatted in that old way that I remember of my dad - leaving out the "You know's" and "It's like's".   Then I noticed the woman across from me, probably early 50's.   I thought, "I'll be her age in no time, still commuting".   What occured to me in all this observation is that the two older gentlemen were rare birds.   I may see folks their age twice a month downtown.   What I am seeing more of though, are a lot folks in my generation just like I used to see a lot of the older generation not long ago.   The older generation is quickly becoming my age group!  And the rest?   They are the iPod slingin', Razr totin', flip flop wearin' next round of workers.   Ouch, I've become a "Yes, Ma'am" - "Hey, Lady", unsvelt, untanned, short haired older person going to work.

I feel some insecurity in that.   These "kids" are clever and energetic.    They've learned more technology in college than I can hope to stuff into my brain at this point.   Their starting salaries are dangerously close to mine, having worked for 28 years.   They look "better", they sell "better" - I move slower, think slower.   Will I be replaced?   Will I be moved on?

Last year a mid 30's aged, inexperienced Geologist was brought into our office to "learn the trade".   He was in the cube next to me, subject to my sneezing noises, phone calls and chewing sounds at lunch (it was fun to bring in celery...nyuck, nyuck).   I tried my darndest to get along with him, but there was this Cloud.   Eventually he was let go after frying one computer from downloading stuff, snoring in his chair and lack of sociability - I am guessing.   Later I learned that he had his eye on my job and thought he could do it better.    No wonder I couldn't get through - he was gunning for me!   
What I learned from that is that there's always going to be someone better than me at my job (not the snoring dude), but there's also a whole bunch of people I can outsmart.   So, where does that leave me?

* * *

This post rested for a few days and the intro changed from "Today" to "Yesterday" to "The other day" as I wrote myself into a corner posing the question "Where does that leave me?".   Today it came to me.    Where it leaves me, or rather propels me, is having Faith.

Psalm 128:2
You will eat the fruit of your labor; blessings and prosperity will be yours.

Proverbs 28:20
A faithful man will be richly blessed, but one eager to get rich will not go unpunished.

I read the other day "Write your plans in pencil and give God the eraser".   I have plans, and I head downtown 5 days a week to make money to fulfill some of those plans.   Yep, I look forward to my paycheck too.   So, Faith is what keeps me heading into my cube every morning, Honoring God in my work ethic is what keeps me moving throughout the day, and being Thankful for my Blessings at the end of the day is what gives me rest at night to get up and do it again, over and over.   And I keep in mind:   None of this is mine, I am just passing through.   It ain't about ME. 

That's where it leaves me.

Hummerology

What Hummers are Good For -

Perspective from the Morning Rush Hour Commute.

• Serving as traffic markers so you know if your lane is indeed going faster or slower than the one next to you.
• Eye Candy:  there are a lot of gadgets and thingies on a Hummer:  nobs, latches, levers, handles; it’s everything a boy could hope for.
• On off hours they can Moonlight as Armored Cars – just throw on a couple magnetic Your Company Name Here labels and yer off to making that extra payment on your loan, lease or gas credit card.
• Be like Moses and part the traffic into downtown.
• Morning Calisthenics – there’s enough room in there to do aerobics on your commute.
• Shower-Get Dressed-Put On Your Make Up Bunker – I am sure I saw a shower head behind those tinted windows…and a full length mirror – or maybe it was just another mandatory Urban Warfare gadget.
• Conducting Urban Warfare.
• Why don’t the Police use them?
• Blocking the Sun in the a.m. in my small car.
• Blocking the Sun in the p.m. in my small car.
• All the snowy Days we are SO plagued with here in the Metro Denver area.
• Practice for a real Home Mortgage loan.
• That Arrr, Arrr, Arrrrr feeling when you buy new tires and get behind the wheel.
  
  
  Anybody else?

Reunited

This brought forth a tear....

Reunited